Officially Graduated

I had Accounts Paper 1 this morning.

I’ve always performed consistently in this subject,and I’ve studied 3 days beforehand.

I completed the test and even had about 45 minutes extra.

And so I sat there for the remaining time thinking deep.

So now, I’ve past High School- then what?

Okay, college. What course am I going to study?

Maybe college is still too far, think of what you’re going to do during these holidays.

Jobs? Sure. What job should it be? Where should it be?

I don’t have much clue on what I should be doing later.

The last few moments as a High School student was spent thinking about the future plans.

Which direction am I heading? And what should I be doing to lead me THERE?

As soon as the examiner picked up my last answer sheet,

I can see people beside me are already smiling widely.

They shouted “MERDEKA! MERDEKA! BANZAI!”

I didn’t join them cheering this out. It’s probably because I’ve realized that there are a lot more things for me to settle later. So the ending of SPM does not really means - FREEDOM- for me.

Graduation Means Goodbye

In 13+ hours,

I’ll officially be graduating from High School.

I’ll be legal and classified as an ‘adult’.

Leaving the school life means saying goodbye to a lot of things.

No more school assembly.

Which also means no more going through Rukun Negara each time after assembly.

I won’t be singing Negaraku, Lagu Sekolah Bestari, Lagu Wilayah, and Lagu SMKSBS during mornings.

No more school uniforms.

No more co-curriculum  attendance card.

No more fixing my hair according to the rules in the Peraturan Sekolah book.

No need to bother about wearing black ribbons on my hair.

No more needing to answer to the pengawas when they ask about my long fingernails.

For proper SMKSBS school issues:

No more Mr. Loga and his rotan.

No more Mr. Loga and his ‘borang salah laku’

No more listening to teacher’s lectures about cleanliness and discipline.

No more looking at the ‘SPM countdown’ board.

No more sitting at the crowded McD seats at the Dataran Ilmu.

No more vandalizing the vending machines.

No more sneaking out of class to go to koperasi.

No more wearing striking-blue-lining socks.

No more sneaking into the library’s Multimedia Room and misusing the internet.

No more reading the newspapers at the lounge in the library.

No more hanging at out school’s Pusat Sumbat- means crowded Pusat Sumber.

No more listening to Pn. Ruslina shouting out “SENYAP!” in the library.

No more guling-guling in the surau.

No more listening to [inserts teacher's name here] babbling on the syllabus.

No more cracking up after Pn. Ng’s anecdotes.

Although I’m free from a lot of hardships of school,

I can’t help but miss some of them.

Shall-Be-Graduated-Jaez 

Confusions Clouding

When your interest lies more on the creative arts sector, it’s hard to convince your family to support you if you do want to further studies with that.

Like most students, I’m facing that problem too.

Families would think of the best for us. Which subjects has a wide prospect. And given that the family is a protective member, they would choose the best subject that can provide us with security for our future.

You, on the other hand, would usually be selfish and think of what interests YOU and ONLY you.

Afterall, you are the one who has to go through 4 years of studying. You are the one that will most probably be stuck with that subject for LIFE.

If I were to be stuck with a particular subject scope for life,  I’d at least want it to be something that I enjoy. Something that will make me feel very happy, drives me to improve myself.

I don’t want to suffer through the subjects that my family have decided- but in turn, I’m not comfortable with.

What I’d like to learn: Communication and Media scope

What I should be choosing: Accounting or Finance

It’s not as easy to break free and go on with my own independent interests.

Despite reaching 18, I’m still under their care. And they are still covering all the support I needed in life. So it’s also a matter of ‘family respect’.